I haven't always made good choices in my life.
Even during what I would call, when having a day of being generous to myself, my better years, I have often walked down the wrong road. Haven't we all?
And whilst walking down said road, I may well have taken breaks at inopportune moments, hitched lifts with inappropriate travelling mates, or spent too long at dubious road side establishments. I'm sure you get the picture.
I can spend alot of time looking at the photos from these little road trips, and wishing that they showed me in a more generous light. But there's nothing I can do to rewrite history, much as I would love to.
It can be really hard to move on in life when loads of difficult stuff has happened. We can find ourselves constantly rewinding, wondering what went wrong and wishing that things could be different. It's completely understandable that we do this. We are wired up to try to make sense of the world and our place in it.
But it's also the case that even a river of tears sometimes doesn't feel enough, and we can cry for what seems like an eternity and still have regrets and unanswered questions, including asking God where he was when we needed him.
Maybe it is good to try to live in the moment, one day at a time, because we can't change the past or second guess the future. All we can ever do is try to live today in the best way we can.